Building respect at home

There is no perfect formula for raising teenagers. 

Most parents and carers are doing the best they can while juggling work, family life and the everyday challenges of parenting. 

The good news is that building respect at home doesn't require special training or perfect conversations. Small, everyday interactions can have a powerful impact on how young people understand relationships, communication, boundaries and respect. 

Why it matters 

The way respect is modelled at home helps young people understand what they should expect from other people and how they should treat others in return. 

Start with connection 

You don't need to wait for a serious conversation. 

Some of the best conversations happen while: 

• driving somewhere 

• walking the dog 

• cooking dinner 

• watching TV together 

• doing everyday activities. 

Research shows young people value ongoing conversations about relationships, emotions and communication, rather than one big talk. 

Small conversations matter 

Many small conversations over time are often more effective than one big conversation. 

Listen before solving 

When young people come to you with a problem, it's natural to want to fix it. 

But sometimes what they need most is to feel heard. Try: 

• asking questions 

• listening without interrupting 

• exploring options together 

• validating their feelings. 

When young people feel heard and understood, they are more likely to keep coming to you when they need support. 

Talk about what they see online 

Young people spend a lot of time navigating online spaces. Showing interest in their online world can help keep communication open. 

Instead of immediately judging or correcting, try asking: 

'What do you think about that?' 

'Why do you think someone posted it?' 

'How do you think that might affect other people?' 

'What messages do you think it's sending?' 

These conversations help young people develop critical thinking skills and make sense of the messages they encounter. 

Respect boundaries 

Respecting boundaries teaches young people that everyone's choices matter. 

This might include: 

• accepting when they need space 

• respecting privacy 

• asking before sharing personal information.

These small moments help young people understand what respect looks like in practice. 

Challenge stereotypes together 

Look for opportunities to discuss messages about what girls and boys are 'supposed’ to be like. 

You could ask: 

'Do you think that's fair?' 

'Would we expect the same thing from someone else?' 

'Why do you think people believe that?' 

'What other ways could someone respond?' 

These conversations help young people recognise and challenge harmful stereotypes before they become deeply embedded. 

Notice what's working 

Respectful behaviour often goes unnoticed while mistakes attract attention. 

Take the opportunity to acknowledge it when you see your young person: 

• showing kindness 

• respecting a boundary 

• including someone else 

• handling disagreement respectfully 

• standing up for a friend. 

Naming positive behaviours reinforces the values you want to encourage. 

When you get it wrong 

No parent gets it right all the time.  

What matters isn't being perfect. It's being willing to apologise, take responsibility and try again. 

A simple apology can teach powerful lessons about accountability, repair and respect. 

Remember 

Young people don't need perfect parents. 

They need trusted adults who keep listening, learning and showing up.

Find out more

Helping young people navigate relationships

• 4 minutes

Practical advice for parents and carers to help young people understand respect, equality and healthy relationships.

Parents and carers: Raising teens for respectful relationships

Practical advice for parents and carers to help young people understand respect, equality and healthy relationships.